I ditched most social media (or rather, parasocial media) years ago, after realizing that all it was doing was making me mad. Plus, I am of the firm belief that you’re not supposed to stay in touch with everyone you ever meet in perpetuity. Most people come and go, and that’s natural and good. But mostly, I was logging in 900 times a day to fight about politics with a guy I knew from 8th grade and giving away my data for the privilege.

That led to me re-evaluating the tools and tech I use on the daily. By and large, that’s resulted in me taking steps to de-algorithmize, to go analog, to move more slowly and mindfully.

I’ve traded Twitter and Facebook for Mastodon. I’ve traded recommended feeds for RSS. I’ve traded posting-for-likes with just keeping it all in the Sunday Night Dirtbags group chat (on Signal, natch).

One interesting side effect is that without really thinking about it, I’m engaging in healthier versions of the old social-media-driven behaviors. If I find an interesting article or blog post, instead of posting it for the world, I send it to a real friend. And I think there’s a real qualitative difference there.

One is broadcasting, the other is communicating.

Instead of “here’s this article I like, and I want you to like me for liking it,” it’s “this makes me think of my friend and gives me a great reason to touch base with them.”

I read a blog post today (found via Bubbles), and the only option to leave a comment was to send the author an email. It really made me mindful of what I was about to say and why. In this case, I was sending a “hang in there” kind of note, but if I’d wanted to argue, I would have taken a real beat before picking a fight. Back when I was on Facebook, I for sure wasn’t taking any beats!

As we rediscover the old, slow, human web, I think these kinds of things are important. Tech should connect us, not divide us, right?